These last two years have been for many a time of stress and even a time of crisis. Often crisis or transition reminds us of what matters most. In the routine of life we often take our families for granted. But in times of danger and need and change, there is no question that what we care about most is our families!
The church that I belong to, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, released a Proclamation on the Family back in 1995. I will not go over it in detail, but I will share a link at the end of this article for the full text. I do want to share a few of the most crucial points. The proclamation’s clear and simple language stands in stark contrast to the confused notions of a society that cannot seem to agree on a definition of family, let alone supply the help and support parents and families need. Let me share five brief statements from that proclamation:
- “Marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God”
- “Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose”
- “Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children”
- “Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity”
- “The disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets”
The very last words of the proclamation proclaim the simple truth that the family is the fundamental unit of society.
Public opinion surveys around the world indicate that everyone generally consider the family as the highest priority, yet in recent years the broader culture seems to ignore or misdefine the family. Consider some of these changes:
- Many larger national and international institutions that used to support families now try to supplant and sabotage the very families they were created to serve
- In the name of “tolerance” the definition of family has been expanded beyond the recognition to that point that family can be anyone of any gender who live together with or without commitment or children or attention to consequence
- Materialism and selfishness delude many into thinking that families, especially children, are a burden or a financial millstone, rather than a sacred privilege that will teach them to become more like God
In spite of all this, most parents throughout the world continue to know both the importance and joy that are attached to natural families. The world needs to know what the Proclamation teaches, because the family is the basic unit of society, of the economy, of our culture, and of our government.
A modern prophet who lived at a time when the US was expanding west said “There can be no genuine happiness separate and apart from the home, and every effort made to sanctify and preserve its influence is uplifting to those who toil and sacrifice for its establishment.”
For those who may ask how we can protect and preserve and strengthen our families in a world pulling so hard in opposite directions? I offer three simple suggestions:
- Be consistent in holding daily family prayer, and reserve time each week for family-centric activities
- Teach the gospel and basic values in your home. Establish a love for reading scriptures together, make it a regular event. Be wise and do not involve children or yourselves in so many activities out of the home
- Create meaningful family bonds that give children an identity stronger than they find with their peer group or at school or anywhere else. This can be done through family traditions for birthdays, holidays, dinnertime, and for Sundays. It can also be done through family policies and rules with natural and well-understood consequences
- One example of this is have a family economy where children have specific chores or household duties and receive praise or other rewards commensurate to how well they do
Let us not forget extended family as well. Remember the expression of love and encouragement from an extended family member will often provide the right influence and help a child at a critical time.
Again, it’s crucial to remember that all larger units of society depend on the smallest and most fundamental unit, the family. No matter who or what we are, we help ourselves when we help families.
Let us prioritize our families and remember that what matters most is what lasts longest, and our families can be for eternity. For those interested in reading the proclamation, click here for the full text. It’s only about a three minute read.
I am indebted to M. Russell Ballard of the quorum of the Twelve Apostles for the central ideas for this article.